I think there are these brief moments of clarity in our lives where we can see, maybe for just a moment, the direction our life is meant to take.
I have spent most of my twenties so drunk on confusion and self-doubt that, until recently, I haven’t been able to paint a clear picture for anyone (myself included) of what I wanted. But today, I could paint several pictures. I finally found all the scattered puzzle pieces. And it feels weird, and borderline uncomfortable, and I keep getting these weird waves of dizzy euphoria.
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
I’ve struggled with finding an identity for myself, not to mention my writing, my career, and my relationships. Then, I came to Korea, and things just seemed so much clearer here — without the expectations and stereotypes that plague America, I’ve managed to form a much clearer idea of myself.
Isn’t it strange that I had to move to a foreign country to gain quiet introspection?
When I stopped listening to the people around me, and all I can hear is my own voice, things make so much more sense. There’s nothing to rebel against, no one to contradict me — and as it turns out, I have some pretty interesting things to say. Things that have both surprised and excited me.
- When I don’t have to listen to people count their calories at lunch – I feel better about my body.
- When I don’t have to listen to people telling me to pursue a higher education – I feel more intelligent.
- When I don’t have to listen to people giving me career advice – I feel like anything is possible.
- When I don’t have to listen to people giving me monetary advice – I feel comfortable with my spending & savings accounts.
- When I don’t have to listen to people mock self-publishing – I feel confident about my writing decisions.
- When I don’t have to listen to people telling me what’s ‘inevitable’ biologically or emotionally – I can make my own choices.
- When I don’t have to listen to people reminding me about what was – I can forget.
The moral: Sometimes it’s better to go somewhere that you don’t speak the language in order to find your own.
