next steps.

Why do people feel the need to rush you into the next step of life? Alternatively, why do you feel the need to rush yourself in accordance with other people’s priorities?

The next step is often what people thing you should do, or ought to do. Perhaps not exactly what you want to do, but instead what you feel you should do.

In my case it’s primarily approached this way: you are nearing thirty. Maybe you aren’t there yet. But you will be. Thirty is supposed to be scary and society will use it against you. Requisite age related goals are tossed around at will. By your mid-twenties you should have a house, a car, an upward career, and, at the very least, a fiance — at the most, 1-2 kids. Don’t wait until the dreaded thirty to get engaged or have kids.

I am (regrettably) a person who had previously bought into the hype of the next step. I still own a house (which I now rent). I had a government job I went to college for. I owned a new car (which I sold). I was effectively brain-washed into thinking that this was my course in life. More frightening still, I thought it was my only course.

The problem inherent in the next step, is that it is not one size fits all. I did not fit. You might not either. That’s okay. But people are not quick to notice the square peg forcing itself into a round hole; in turn, people did not notice my floundering. I had to take control of my life and take several steps backward in order to attain happiness.

If, while you are siting around the holiday dinner table, people begin to ask you what you’re doing with your life? When are you going to have kids? Get married? Et all. Smile. Your life may be different, it may not coincide with the obvious next step, but none of that matters if you’re happy.

Take time to appreciate the fact that you are in between trapezes. That you are on a journey. And don’t buy into the hype. Just invest in your own happiness.